Lonely at the top
by halfasleep42
Summary: Sam gets a visitor wile healing in Atlantis after the episode Trio. Mature content ahead!
1. Chapter 1

As much as I hate to admit it in my current state of mind, which is lonely and depressed, I have to say, the view from my balcony is somewhat awe inspiring. The sun is just sinking down behind the ocean, and the various towers of atlantis seem to glimmer in the dusk. The fresh air is a nice change from the stale smell of an underground bunker. If only a certain someone was here to share it with me. I'm barefoot and wearing a pair of ragged cut off track shorts, because it's the only thing I can comfortably get on over my ridiculous cast, at least for now. I'm sure once the rest of my bruises go down a little I'll be a more inclined to try. At the moment though, it's not like I really need to worry about anyone apart from keller seeing it, confined as I am to bed rest.

Sitting in the chair I spent 10 minutes fighting my way onto the balcony with, I am way too exhausted to bother making an attempt to get back to bed. I figure I've got another few hours before Jennifer comes in to check up on me, and by then, surely, I will have mustered the strength to struggle back inside. For now I'm content to sit here and mope.

Dear lord, when did I get this pathetic? I've been injured before, and much worse. My medical reports have their own accordion file. I've always gone home on my own, and been perfectly fine healing in peace and quiet. I know I'm in a different galaxy and far from the comforts of home, but I have a decent enough support system here, even if it is only because they're doing their jobs. Mckay has checked on me a few times over the last two days, although I don't suppose he'll be around anytime soon, after I nearly kicked him out the door last time(and I may have, had I had two functional legs.) He was trying to be thoughtful, and as much as I respect the fact that he has definitely grown from the arrogant asshole I first met...well he's still McKay.

John stopped by and dropped off a six pack of guinness(which he clearly wanted nothing to do with) I suspect Cam sent in through in lieu of the macaroons he knows I despise. John and I played a few rounds of chess but after beating him every single time, and with my obviously deteriorating mood, he probably figured he ought to get out of dodge before he put himself in the same line of fire that Rodney had earlier.

It's just different being in charge. While I may have been the boss on SG1 for a while, Daniel and Teal'c knew me so well that I never really had to explain how I was feeling or ask for what I needed. They were just there when and how I needed them. Now though, not only do I not really know any of these people, but I'm their boss. I can't risk any sign of weakness, even if it is only to John or Jennifer. A lot of people still resent me for taking Weir's place, even though someone had to. It's taken me a lot to gain their respect. I have no intention of losing it again.

Don't get me wrong, I love my position. It's just isolating in a way I never fully comprehended before. It makes it a lot easier to understand where Jack was coming from when he got promoted and took over the base. It changes you. Makes you more reserved and careful with your feelings. While at the time I took it personally, and some of it probably was...what with Pete and all. I realize now it wasn't just me he withdrew from. I've been trying to keep myself distracted but well...it's not exactly going well.

I spent a half hour or so reading some magazines Jennifer dropped off for me, but our tastes in frivolous reading material are vastly different. While I could go for a science magazine, maybe mechanics or bikes. Hell even victoria secret might peak my interest to some degree. Put people and cosmo are the kind of drivel that make me think I really should be an alien. Needless to say they didn't keep me entertained for very long. My reports are caught up, and John has taken over my post for the time being so there's nothing new I need to handle. I checked my email probably six times before I figured I should move away from the computer for my own sanity.

Which brings me to now, sitting on my balcony alone, wallowing. I never used to wallow. I used to be strong and independant. Now all I can think about is the one person who hasn't sent me so much as a get well email. We get daily data bursts from earth, so there have been two days in which he could have sent something. I know I am being incredibly selfish. He is a general after all, and a busy one at that. For all I know he's been in with the president and the joint chiefs all week. Unfortunately all the logic in the world doesn't seem to make me feel better.

Much to my utter embarrassment, I am tearing up just thinking about it. It occurs to me that I should probably ask jennifer to switch my pain medication(which I should really NOT be drinking beer with) I have been known to react badly to a few pain meds ever since my blending with Jolinar. Maybe I can blame them for my maudlin behaviour? As I consider my absentee general and the fact that he's turned me into a great big sap, who craves cabins and fishing and sunday morning breakfast, instead of science and work and adventure, my eyes start to slip closed of their own volition. It vaguely crosses my mind that jennifer is going to kill me for falling asleep without my leg being elevated, but I'm too tired and morose to care.

I must have slept for a while, because when I come to it's dark behind my closed lids, and there's a warm hand on my cheek...a large, decidedly male hand. I open my eyes to meet sparkling brown. I'm not entirely sure if they're sparkling with humor or worry, but I suspect it may be both. "Hey beautiful." He runs his thumb along my bottom lip. "You're going to be the death of me woman."

It takes me a minute to register that he's actually there kneeling in front of me, not some figment I've dreamed up in my mildly drug induced state to make myself feel better. When my brain finally catches up I lurch forward, a little faster than I mean to and pull him against me, startling a surprised grunt out of him. He's balanced precariously against me, trying desperately not to lean on my injured leg. It finally occurs to my muddled brain that I should probably say something.

"You're really here." Doh, that was a great start. My voice comes out much needier than I'm comfortable with, my cheeks flaming with embarrassment.

He chuckles a bit, even though his face is more serious than I'm used to. He must have really been worried. My shirt is clenched in his right hand, in what I'm sure is a completely unconscious gesture, as though he's afraid I'll disappear before his very eyes. I really have been selfish. I may have been alone, but he probably got a phone call in the middle of the night, saying I was injured. He would have been on the phone to Landry, and then his superiors to arrange leave, and then spent hours flying to colorado, and then the mandatory 24hrs at midway. No wonder I haven't heard from him. He's probably been going bonkers. I'll need to send a gift basket to the guys at midway. I'm sure he made them suffer with him.

"I'm ok jack. I'm here."

"Don't do that again." His voice cracks and he leans further into me, hiding his face in my neck. "You're supposed to be safe now."

"I am. I'm safe. And much better now you're here...how long do you have?"

He pulls away and stands, his knees creaking on the way back up. He takes my hand on the way, needing some kind of physical contact with me. "I've got a couple days. More if I need it. you shouldn't be out here like this." he waves a hand in the general direction of my cast. "lets get you inside."

It takes us a few minutes to get me up out of the chair and into my room, and I don't know if I could be more relieved once I finally drop down onto my mattress. Trying to walk with one leg is bad enough when it hasn't gone to sleep from sitting in a chair in one position for too long. Jack is still clinging to my hand as though his life depends on it, and I suddenly feel a whole lot better about my own neediness. At least it's not just me. I realize once I've settled in that he's turned so that he's no longer facing me. It takes me physically pulling him to face me, which is quite a feat considering I'm injured and exhausted. He does finally give in and he meets my gaze again. What I see makes me suck in a breath. His eyes are glassy and his jaw is working hard, trying to rein in his emotions. If I didn't know my big tough badass general better I'd say he was near tears. Surely I must be hallucinating. He struggles against my palm, trying to escape my scrutiny, but I won't let him.

We've been together about six months now, albeit maybe 3 weeks total has actually been spent in each other's presence, and not all of that was even on a personal basis. We wasted a good while after I left his chain of command dancing around each other, at least until I showed up on his doorstep and forced the issue. We've had intimate moments, we've traded the 'L' word even, but overall things have been pretty light. Even my departure for Atlantis was met with more encouragement and well wishes than it was real emotion. We're both so used to being in the service, letting our personal desires fall to the wayside. This...this is new. I open and close my mouth a few times, not really sure what to say, to make it clear that I do understand. That I think no less of him, in fact it has caused a tightness in my chest that I've never experienced, and that really I'm just completely flabbergasted that someone could feel such powerful emotion toward me.

Before I have a chance to say any of these things, his hand is in my hair and he's crushing his lips to mine. All of our encounters so far have been gentle and playful. Amazing, but controlled. This is Jack O'Neill undone. This is a desperate man clinging onto hope for dear life. And it is sooo exactly what I needed. When he pulls back to get his hands on the hem of my shirt his eyes are near black. He makes eye contact for a moment, looking for a sign that this is ok...that I'm not in any pain. At my slight nod he tears my shirt up and off over my head.

Before I even have time to process, he is on me, sucking and biting at my skin, kneading a breast with one hand and grabbing onto my ass with his other. I feel like I'm on fire. He is marking me as his, and as the feminist inside me wants to argue, the rest of me is in sensory overload, and really couldn't care less. I don't know how he intends to deal with the logistical issue of my casted leg, but he's a smart man, I imagine he'll figure something out. It helps that I trust this man implicitly, and he can do pretty much whatever he wants with me.

He rips his mouth away from mine so that he can get rid of the shorts. He goes slow and gentle over my cast and then rips them off over my feet. I have no idea how he can change gears so fast, but it's touching that he can still look out for my well being when he is so out of control. He presses hot open mouthed kisses all the way up my uninjured leg, switching to the injured one where the cast meets flesh. He's mumbling to himself as he bites and licks at my inner thighs, his hands clutching at the backs of my thighs. It takes me a minute to figure it out, but I realize he's mumbling 'mine' over and over again.

A low groan escapes me at the realization, and I'm almost ashamed for enjoying it. Almost. But I love this man too much to actually be offended. And I wasted way too many years trying my damndest to not fall into his arms, and into his heart. Not that I'm finally here you will sooo not hear me complaining.

My hands slip into his hair and his head pauses as the juncture of my thighs. "Yours. I'm not going anywhere." This seems to slow him down a bit and he blinks up at me, as if just realizing I'm there, and not a hallucination. I can understand the feeling. We've spent so much of our relationship apart, it almost feels surreal when we finally DO get to be together. It's too bad I'm not really able to participate. It's been over a month since we've seen each other, and even then it was a team dinner and a quickie before I was back through the gate.

He maintains eye contact for a couple more beats, just soaking me in. When he returns to his task it's at a more sedate pace. Don't get me wrong he has definitely not lost any of his earlier intensity, he's just savoring the moment. The next few minutes pass in a blur of sensation and before I know it I tripping over the edge into oblivion. I'm almost ashamed of how little work it took. Almost. Mostly I'm just relieved and happy. It's never been easy for me to let go this way. Being in the field as long as I have has made it difficult to ever fully trust another and my brain doesn't exactly know when to shut down, as can be testified to by many a sleepless night and faked orgasm. I've never had that problem with Jack. He has a lot more practise demanding my attention, and boring is definitely not a word I would use to describe the man in front of me.

He climbs back up the bed, dropping a kiss every few inches. Normally he would be all self-satisfied ego at this point. Not today. Today he just stares at me intently for a few moments before rolling me onto my side away from him so my casted leg is on top. He pulls my leg forward and tucks a couple of pillows under it. He steps back from the bed behind me and I can hear the scrape of fabric on skin as he strips. I had almost forgotten he was still fully clothed.

Before long he's sliding up behind me again and there is hot flesh pressed against me all the way from my shoulder blades to my knees. His top arm wraps around me so his forearm is between my breasts, his hand pressed hotly over my heart. His hot breath flutters against the back of my neck, and I don't think I've ever been held so possessively.

His hips shift forward and he slides into me ever so slowly, partially i'm sure so that he doesn't jostle my bruised and battered body too much. Electricity seems to flow up and down my spine from where we are connected to where his teeth are bared against the flesh of my shoulder. The thought skips across my mind that if he leaves a mark I might have to kill him later, but it's gone in an instant. I can feel every inch of him as he slides oh so slowly back and forth. It's not exactly the deepest position but he is certainly making up for it in finesse.

The hand over my heart moves to cup a breast, rough thumb pad dragging perfectly against my swollen nipple. A strangled groan escaped me as he thrusts forward a little harder than before. He growls in response, pressing his teeth further into my flesh. "You are not allowed to leave me Carter. Not now, after everything." HIs hand clutches my breast tighter, pressing me back against him. Seriously...acting like a caveman is not supposed to be so...hot. Damn him for turning me into a pile of feminine goo.

He shifts again so he's hitting just the right spot and oh dear lord nothing should feel this good. He must be close by now, but he seems determined to go slow and intense right to the very end, even if it kills me. I can't even help the noises coming out of me at this point, but on the bright side he isn't being much quieter. I hope my walls are as soundproof as McKay says they are, because that is the last thing I want to deal with, what with John's quarters being right across the hall from mine. A few more slow thrusts and I'm gone. He's not far behind me and he muffles a groan into the back of my neck as he lets go.

He places several light kisses along the ridge of my shoulder blade and rolls away from. I let out an undignified noise at the loss of body heat and he chuckles softly in return. "I'll be right back."

I'm too satiated and sore to bother turning toward him but I hear the tap running in the bathroom a moment later. I must have drifted off while he was cleaning up because I wake to a warm wash cloth between my thighs. When he's done he sets the cloth on the bedside table and starts gathering up my clothing. Still naked he carefully rolls me onto my back again. With a lot more effort than it took to undress we manage to get me back into my shorts and a clean tank top.

Once I've taken my pills and he's gotten his briefs back on he climbs in next to me rearranging the pillows so my leg is elevated again. He curls up alongside me in what is usually my position, placing his warm palm against my breastbone, presumably so he can feel my heart beat again. "Seriously though...you're stuck with me."

"Hmm, nowhere I'd rather be."

tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

Sooo...this kind of slipped completely out of my control. I think it's actually writing itself...because this is not what I had planned. Let me know what you think I guess. I apologize for the sappiness.

I awake to the sound of the door to my quarters sliding open. I can still feel Jack's warm hand pressed against my sternum and there are definitely no blankets covering us. I can tell Jack's awake because his muscles tensed at the same time mine did. Seems I'm on my own to face whomever has discovered us. I know he's not doing it out of any malice, he just figures it's my command and my people. Doesn't make me want to smack him any less.

I'm pretty sure I'm blushing with mortification so I might as well open my eyes and face the music. I crack one eye open and am somewhat relieved to see Jennifer standing at the end of the bed. I should have known. If it had been John or Rodney...the only other people with the balls to come into my personal quarters uninvited, I'm fairly certain they wouldn't have remained quiet.

She has her hand pressed to her mouth to hold in what I'm sure would have been a girly squeal and her eyes are as wide as saucers. It'd be a lot more comical if I wasn't in bed with a half naked general and embarrassed beyond belief. I shouldn't be. We're legal now and we are fully grown adults. Our decision is no ones business but our own. Doesn't change ten years worth of practice pretending that we didn't love each other and fighting against it for fear of a court martial. That and having someone walk in on you is a whole other thing. REALLY glad Jack had the forethought to redress us both.

"When he said he was here to see you...well, this isn't exactly what I thought he meant or I would have paged ahead of time." She's trying her best to be quiet, and I'm glad she doesn't actually know the general that well or she would totally know he was faking. Then again she's a doctor so once the shock wears off she might figure it out anyway.

"Can you just...wait outside for a few minutes?" I whisper yell back.

She nods exaggeratedly and backs out of my quarters nearly tripping over Jack's pants in her hurry to escape. By the time she gets to the door I think she might be redder than I am. Her mouth opens and closes a couple of times and then she gives up, turning and bolting out of my room.

The second she's gone I smack Jack as hard as I can manage from the terribly awkward angle and he finally releases the breath he was holding so his laughter wouldn't escape. It's starts as a huff of laughter and turns into a deep belly laugh when he lifts his head enough to see my mortified expression.

"If I weren't bed ridden and injured I would SO kick your ass right now." I would love to stay mad, but something about him laughing has always set me off. Maybe because he really laughs so rarely, but it's contagious.

"Hey, they had to find out sometime. Maybe this will get McKay off your back for a while." He manages once he's finally calmed down some. "It's not so bad...really."

"That's easy for you to say...I'm their boss. I have to see her everyday. And she's never going to let me live this down." As much as there is some genuine trepidation about the gossip that's going to fly around this place for the next...probably forever, it's not like it's a new thing for us. There was speculation for years while we were in the field together. It doesn't usually matter what's actually happening, sometimes I think gossip is the only thing that kept the SGC going during our many, many lock downs.

"They're good people. I'm sure it will stay with John's team...at least until McKay finds out." He stands up and searches around for his clothes. Dressing quickly he then moves forward to help me sit up in bed, propping me up with a pillow behind my back. He leans forward and places a chaste kiss to my lips, still grinning like an idiot. The bastard isn't embarrassed one bit. If anything it's somehow given him an ego boost. Men...seriously.

"I can hear just hear him now. Something about me being an idiot, maybe a caveman...then he'll somehow come to the conclusion that it was your loss just to make himself feel better. If it gets out of hand I can always send you a shipment of lemons with the next commissary order." Oh he is enjoying this WAY too much for his own good.

"Would you go get Jennifer before she tells everyone on base?" I shove him away from me towards the door and take a moment to gather my wits.

He lets out another peal of laughter and does as I've asked. A couple seconds later he's back with an evilly grinning doctor on his heels. Oh, I am so screwed.

"Yeah...so I'm gonna go...well, somewhere else." At this Jack gives us both a sloppy salute and meanders out the door humming under his breath. Again...bastard.

Jennifer stares at me for a minute with her eyebrows raised, obviously expecting me to start.

"Can we just skip the embarrassing part and get onto why you actually showed up in the first place?"

Jennifer's smiles grows even wider. "Nope. But I can certainly multitask. How about I check your bandages and your temperature and you tell me all about the hot general that I just saw half naked. And I must say...wow by the way. Who knew all that was hiding under those dress blues. I mean I knew he was attractive but...that was something."

I palm my face with one hand and pull myself to the edge of the bed so Jennifer can get behind me. I have a few contusions on my back which aren't too bad, but were enough to warrant a few stitches. "I know right?"

I might as well bite the bullet. Besides, Keller is the closest thing to a friend I've made on Atlantis and I might as well be open with her. It's been a long time since I've had a female friend to talk to. Besides of anyone under my command, she's the only one who can override my decisions, so she's the closest I've got to an equal anyway.

I give her a brief rundown of our history and how due to pride and mutual cowardice we nearly didn't get together at all. She goes about cleaning, applying ointment and redressing my wounds while I talk about things I've never actually vocalized before. It's actually kind of a relief to say it all out loud. Even when I had Janet before...we lost her, I could never really talk to her about this. Even though we were best friends she was still military and I cared too much about her to put her in an awkward position. Don't get me wrong I know she wasn't blind, but it just wasn't worth it to either one of us to actually broach the subject. The closest she ever got was while Jack was on Edora, and even then she wasn't about to come right out and say it.

As for the guys. Well they both learned pretty early on not to try to talk to either one of us about it. After the Zatarc incident teal'c seemed to be a lot more understanding of our situation. I think Daniel may have given him a copy of the regs to read through. Either way they didn't try to hide their disdain for my relationship with Pete. I tell Jennifer about that little gem as well.

"Seriously? And you actually thought he would say something to stop you from marrying him? You do realize he just wanted you to be happy? No matter what it took?" She's finished with my dressings and hands me some more antibiotics and pain killers to take.

"Yes well. I know that NOW. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself then. At least I called it off before I made the worst mistake imaginable." She gets me comfortable again and sits at the foot of the bed, completely enthralled.

I tell her about the events leading up to me breaking off my engagement, including Kerry and my Dad's death and parting words. I don't think I've been this honest with anyone in years. Maybe not even Jack. I make a mental note to rectify that last thought. By the time I've finished I'm all but exhausted from the medication.

"You do know that's like the most romantic story ever right?" I can't help but groan at that. I may be female, but I've never been very good at the whole emotional sappiness thing.

"I guess. Just seems overly dramatic to me. In a way I feel like we wasted too much time, but then I don't know that there was any other answer."

"Alright...well you get some rest. I want to do some scans later on this afternoon, so I'll come pick you up around 4. Oh and I'll be sure to knock this time." She's laughing again as she gathers up her equipment. Before long I'm drifting off to sleep again.

I stop by Sam's room to drop off a tray of food to find her out cold. Probably for the best. The last thing I want is for her to stay awake just to keep me entertained and set back her healing time. She's stubborn enough as it is, by tomorrow she'll probably be demanding to be let back on duty. I leave the tray on her night table and sneak out, hoping the drugs are enough to keep her under. She's not exactly a heavy sleeper, but luck seems to be on my side and I manage to sneak out without disturbing her.

I set off to find Dr. Keller. I figure now that she's been made aware of our relationship status, I could probably use her help. Truth be told I was about four days away from a surprise visit to Atlantis before Sam got hurt, and I had a plan dammit. I'm just glad the President authorized my ...earlier than intended absence. I didn't tell Sam because I know she'll be suspicious the second she realizes I'll be here for, ahem, longer than she's expecting.

It's technically Jennifer's day off, but like Janet she'll take time out of her day off to take care of her patients. I guess when your patients is your boss, it doesn't hurt to put in a little extra TLC. I don't really want to have her paged, because then people will ask questions. I figure it's a beautiful city and I could use the walk so I figure I'll just walk until I come across her. If I don't paging can always be plan B.

It actually doesn't take as long as one might think...probably because I find her pretty much exactly where I would go on a bright sunny day - out onto the closest pier. She's also alone, which is a bonus in my mind. She's sitting on the edge legs dangling wearing a brightly colored floppy hat. I feel almost bad for disturbing her she looks so relaxed. I have a mission though, and if she can help it will be worth it.

"Hey Keller." I bounce on my feet nervously, a) because I have no idea how she will respond to my presence after the incident this morning and b) because I hope she doesn't tell me to shove off when I ask her for a favor.

She turns to face me with a wince. "General...it's good to see you again, ahem...I can't believe I just said that."

I can't help but let out a chuckle at her reaction. "Hey, it's OK. I'm sorry you had to witness that this morning. How about we just skip this whole thing where we try to figure out who's more embarrassed."

She laughs out loud at that and for the life of me I can't figure out what's so funny. I just stare at her blankly until she's calmed down enough to explain.

"Sorry...just. Sam said almost that exact thing this morning." She presses her hand to her chest while she gathers her breath. "I guess now that I know, I'm starting to see mannerisms you two have in common...kind of like an old married couple"

I nearly choke at that last comment and Jennifer turns to face me more fully, eyeing me suspiciously. "Something else I should know general?"

"No, no. Well not yet anyway. Actually that's why I came to talk to you.

Well and to apologize for this morning. Sorry...rambling. I have a favor to ask and well it seems like Sam trusts you so I figure I can too. Plus you know about us now. I had this whole plan and then she got hurt and I flipped even though she's been hurt plenty in the time I've known her and well I'm not prepared now and." She's kind enough to cut me off at this point before I have a chance to humiliate myself even further.

"Whoa there...easy. I'm going to assume by that train wreck of a sentence that you're looking to make your arrangement a little more shall we say...permanent?" She looks way too amused right now and I'm suddenly really glad that she's not military...somehow the fact that she is civilian makes this at least a little better.

"Yea...that. I have the ring and all but I kind of flew out of the SGC in a hurry so everything else kinda flew out the window. I figure you probably know this city as well as anyone, you maybe know a nice place for a romantic dinner. Maybe somewhere I can score some wine or something like it? I already talked to the cook in the mess and he agreed to make something by request...although only because I pulled the general card." I'm pacing by this point and I probably sound like a crazy person. Luckily I'm pretty sure nobody but Daniel and Teal'c would believe her if she told them I was this nervous about anything.

"Hmm, I think I know just the place. We should probably get started though if you're aiming for tonight. I think I can get her there without her realizing too. She's got a couple of scan's scheduled for around four and the place I have in mind is a few floors down from the infirmary in the main tower."

It takes us almost two hours, but we seem to have gotten everything set up. The food should be ready about 4:30, so with any luck it'll get here before Carter. It's almost 3:30 now so I figure I ought to put an appearance in with Carter, she's probably wondering where I wandered off to. Hopefully she's not too suspicious. At least I've only got another hour or so before it's over.

It's down right stupid how worried I am, but part of me thinks it's a good sign. I wasn't really nervous with Sara. Even if Charlie hadn't...well anyway, I don't think we would have made it either way. She resented me for being away so much, and while I can't blame her, it's such a big part of who I am that giving it up would have just made me miserable. We were already having trouble before Charlie, it wasn't going to get any better.

I don't think Sara and I ever really knew each other. Partially because I couldn't talk about most of my life. Sam though, has seen everything, and is still sticking around for some reason I will never be able to fathom. I'll take it though, whatever the reason. I can't even picture a life that doesn't contain Samantha Carter. Now I just hope we're on the same page and that she doesn't freak when she hears the other news I have for her. I should maybe have asked Jennifer for a place not so close to the ocean. If this doesn't go well I might end up meeting McKay's friend up close.

When I get to Carter's quarters I find her struggling to get into a pair of sweatpants. "Hey...you need a hand there?" I get a low growl in response. I realize my timing for executing this plan might suck, but we've put off so many things in our lives, especially when it comes to each other that I absolutely refuse to be deterred by her injury. Hopefully she can understand that.

"Actually now that you're here...can you grab that blue flowy skirt out of the bottom shelf in my closet? Bending with crutches wasn't going so well...and it has a stretchy top so I can get into easy." She so frustrated she looks near tears and I feel guilty for having ditched her all day. I was kind of hoping she'd be sleeping still but I should know her better than that.

I do as she asks and grab her a black button up top from her closet as well. It's soft and comfortable while still being pretty and I know it's one of her favorites...hopefully it will improve her mood a little. "Here we are."

She stand with her hands on a chair back while I maneuver her legs into the skirt. I can't help placing a few gentle kisses along the way. Though we are cautious in public I find it disturbingly difficult to not show her affection while we're in private. She's made me soft damn it. Much to my surprise she swats me away while grumbling under her breath.

"What is it?"

"Don't. I'm sweaty and gross and I haven't even showered." I've never dealt with a self conscious Carter before. I honestly didn't even know she existed.

"Seriously?" I get an emphatic nod in response. "You do know that you're always hot right? And I've seen you in every possible scenario. Fevers, plagues, nanites fire fights, knife wounds, hypothermia...shall I continue?"

She looks down at her feet before meeting my eyes again. " I'm just frustrated and I feel gross. Jennifer said she'd help me get cleaned up after my scans."

"Ok, ok. Just...you know you can ask me if you need help right. I know I haven't been here, and you're not really used to being able to ask me...but I'm here for whatever you need." I can't even believe that just came out of my own mouth, but after months on end without her I guess I've realized I just need to say all those things I usually push down and hide because lets face it I'm not getting any younger.

I'm so distracted by my own admission that I don't notice she's crying until I hear a heave of breath as she tries her damnedest to hold it in. The noise is especially startling because the last time I heard it was after Janet death while I was recovering from a staff blast.

My body moves before I even have time to grant permission. I pull her into a hug and try to support most of her weight so she's not leaning on her casted leg.

"Jack, you're not allowed to be a sap, you're already turning me into s sap. Other people cant see this...we will sooo never hear the end of it. As it is you know Daniel will never let you live it down and believe me he WILL figure it out."

I cant be positive put I think she's somewhere between laughing and crying. I pull away to see her face and her smile is contagious. We both dissolve into laughter and before long I'm crying too...just from laughing to hard. There is a buzz at the door and we both struggle to regain control. I finish buttoning carters shirt and move to answer the door. Sam is still laughing behind me though much more controlled than before.

"Everything all right in here?" She glances between us the beginning of a smile on her face. "You know I think I'm really going to enjoy getting to know you both better...just maybe not as well as this morning."

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

I could have gone farther with this chapter, but I finally hit a point where I felt comfortable pausing. Thanks everyone for the awesome reviews. Probably still another couple chapters to go...we'll see what happens. Again, this story totally developed a mind of it's own so we'll see where it takes me. As always R&R is appreciated.

Jack

Its not long before Jennifer has convinced Sam that the wheelchair is indeed a good idea and is rolling her down the hall away from me. I don't have much time to spare but Jennifer has bought me a little extra by offering to help carter clean up once the scans are done. With the lantean technology Sam's scans should only take a few minutes...I figure the bathing should take at least a half hour with the hinderance of the cast.

I should have plenty of time. First things first though...shower and change back into the dress blues. I thought about a suit but...that's sooo not me. And Carter and O'neill fell in love long before Jack and Sam really got to know each other. Some people might find it odd that I'm proposing in what is essentially a symbol of everything that kept us apart for so long. Which it is. But it's also a lot of other things, and apart from Carter it's been the single most important thing in my life. That and I should wear it while I can. I'm pretty sure she'll get where I'm coming from.

The hardest part is going to be not drawing too much attention from point A to point B. The uniform is bound to draw a little attention...especially from the officers and staff who know me. With any luck they will stick to speculation for now and stay out of my way. Jennifer and I already have a table and some chairs set up. The nicest cups I could find and some fruity alcoholic beverage that tastes nothing like wine. Now I just need to shower, change, grab the food from the mess and head on down.

Jennifer

I'm pretty sure Sam starts to get suspicious when I insist on drying her hair at least some before letting her go back to her quarters. Luckily I don't think she has any idea what to be suspicious about. I even manage to convince her to let me braid it when I'm done. It's been about 40 minutes since we left the general at Sam's quarters and he should definitely be ready by now. I just wanted to give him a few extra minutes in case he's running behind. Wouldn't do to have us show up first.

I get her redressed and back into the chair, with only a little bit of token argument against the wheel chair. I think she realizes she would be completely exhausted by the time she made it back to her quarters with crutches. It's also kind of the only way I'm going to get her where we're going anyway. I try to keep her occupied with some ridiculous story about McKay but once we exit the lift on the wrong floor and head the wrong direction she's definitely not buying the innocent look I have plastered on my face.

"It's Jack isn't it? He put you up to this?" By her narrowed eyes I can tell it's not really a question. She's crumbling something about charm and dress blues under her breath. She looks a little afraid. I have a feeling she has no idea what's coming. If his reputation is anything to go by, I'm not terribly surprised. Doesn't sound like romance is in his repertoire.

"I'm not at liberty to discuss that I'm afraid...classified." Luckily we're there, because Sam's about ready to jump out of the chair. She's not really someone I want to get on the wrong side of...friend or boss. They both scare me.

I swipe my hand across the access panel and slide her chair forward through the doorway. We're in what I assume was some kind of meeting room at one time. It has a terrace off the side that is almost the same size as the room itself. I can see the general leaning against the railing. There's a table and two chairs behind him, and what looks like a pretty decent spread of food. I managed to scrounge up some booze. Normally I'd protest the alcohol, but Sam hasn't had a pain pill in several hours, and there's not even enough of it to get ME drunk. "Jack?" Sam sounds totally perplexed and I can't help the smirk that crosses my face.

He spins around too fast and nearly drops the spoon he was apparently fiddling with. He sets it gingerly back on the table and comes in to meet us.

"Hi." Is the only response he seems able to come up with.

"Should I be concerned? Alien influence, downloads, drugs...maybe a bout of food poisoning?" She's smirking as well now, seemingly amused at his attempt to be romantic. The general just looks indignant.

"What...I can't be...nice once in a while?"

"Is that what this is?" She turns her head around to face me and nods toward her crutches, which have been tucked between me and the wheelchair.

I figure that's about my que to leave and quietly sneak out while the general is helping Sam out of the chair.

Sam

Jack precedes me out onto the terrace pulling out my chair, which earns him a Teal'c eyebrow. "What? I know how to be...gentlemanly." He has his indignant face again. The one that says he's offended I have so little faith in him.

"Oh I'm sure you can...I'm just afraid to know why you're being...gentlemanly. Did you blow something up again?"

"Hmm yea, I suppose the last time I took you to dinner somewhere nice was after I was fiddling in your lab. It wasn't an explosion...per say. There may have been a small fire though. But no, no fire this time."

It's taken me a couple minutes to notice, what with the food and the atmosphere to take in, but now that I study him more closely I realize...he's nervous. Don't get me wrong he's not very good at staying still on a good day, but right now he's down right twitchy...and he's not making eye contact. And I have a sudden insight into exactly what this is. I try not to react outwardly to my epiphany a) incase I'm wrong and b) because he's obviously put a lot of thought into this and I don't want to wreck it for him. My heart is beating a million miles a minute though.

He lowers me into the chair and pauses awkwardly as if he has no idea what to do with himself. I kind of wish we were capturing this on film because I don't think even the guys would believe this is actually happening.

He stands there having what apoears to be a somewhat heated internal discussion for about 10 seconds. Finally he grimaces and seems to convince himself he may as well get this over with. My suspicions are confirmed when he reaches a hand into his pocket and lowers himself onto one knee.

"Alright...so we both know I'm awful at this kind of thing. I love you more than I thought was possible before I met you. You're my favourite person bar none. I also didn't think I'd ever want to do the whole marriage thing again. But you changed that too. " I'm ashamed to admit there are tears in my eyes. He looks so earnest, and I don't think I've ever heard him talk about feelings for this long a time...

"I can't even fathom my life without you in it.I don't WANT to fathom it. I've seen and done things that very few people can appreciate, and all I want now is this...us. Samantha Carter will you marry me?" His hand is actually shaking as he pops open the little black box he's had clutched in his hand this whole time. My mouth opens and closes a few times. I can't be helping his confidence. After a couple seconds he lets out a low groan.

"C'mon Carter...the suspense is gonna kill me here."

Something finally snaps into place in my mind and I can't control the ridiculous grin that appears on my face. His mouth twitches in response but he seems hesitant to give in until I've actually responded. "Yes. Of course. There was never a question."

His face lights up instantly and he lets out a nervous chuff of laughter as he holds the ring out between thumb and forefinger. He grabs hold of my left hand with his free one and slides it onto my ring finger. I haven't even looked at the ring yet I've been so focused on everything else. When I do look down I'm even more at a loss as to what to say.

"Jack?" I don't even know how to elaborate apart from gesturing wildly between him and the ring on my finger. Unfortunately he seems to be enjoying seeing me squirm, and he's not in any hurry to ease my suffering.

"Yes Carter?" I can hear the smirk before I even look up and see it.

"Is that...what I think it is?" My mind is racing trying to come up with some explanation apart from the obvious...but I've got nothing.

"If by THAT you mean the ring. And by what you think it is you mean the ring you saw on that planet with the bazaar and that sweet little old lady who showed it to you because the stone matched your eyes and you fell in love with it because the carving on the sides looks like the symbol for home but it was two sizes too big and we didn't have any local currency then...yes. It's THAT."

He seems a little surprised when I swat him in the chest and growl a little. "But...but. That was almost five years ago. I was with Pete. You all but told me to accept his ring. You...you...what the hell?"

Okay he looks a little afraid now. Good. I can't believe this. I'm completely flabbergasted. "Well? Start explaining flyboy."

"I never told you to accept the ring. I thought you were happy. I didn't want to get in the way of that. Especially for something that at that point seemed like a total long shot. That and I'm old, and grouchy, and kind of an asshole. I figured if you found someone younger and happier and you were in love...I wasn't going to be the schmuck who ruined it for you."

I can't believe how little he thinks of himself. I knew he was self conscious about the age gap, but it never once occurred to me that that might be the reason he never said anything when I was with Pete. Wow. I'm such and idiot. "I am SUCH an idiot."

"What? Carter you are a lot of things...that has never been one of them. And frankly what the hell does that make the rest of us lowly humans?"He pulls up his chair so he can sit directly in front of me, his knees crackling on the way up.

"But then...why the ring? Why did you get it?" he looks distinctly uncomfortable with this line of questioning

"Because I was in love with you. And I'm not really that bright. I may have given up outwardly, but I always hoped that something would change. And that look on your face...when you saw that ring...I couldn't not get it. Even if it never saw the light of day, that smile was the same one you used to give me before everything got so damn complicated. Before Jonah and Thera made everything so damn hard. Before we both spent so much energy pretending we didn't care that there wasn't enough left over to even bother being friends"

I almost forget about my cast and launch myself at him. Luckily he still has impeccable reflexes and he gets to me before I fall on my face. He cups my head in both hands and kisses me with so much...everything that it causes the tears I've been fighting to escape my tight control. He tries to pull away when he feels the wetness trickle down his palm but I just pull him in tighter. We kiss for a couple more seconds before he has to break for a gasp of air.

He seems relieved that I'm smiling, despite the tears. I don't think this smile is ever leaving my face. Everyone is going to know that something happened within seconds. Luckily I'm the boss and not many of them will have the balls to say anything.

"See that smile...right there. That's the reason for...well everything. How can a guy not fall in love with that smile?"

"Jack O'neill that is THE sappiest thing I have ever heard." I let out a huff of laughter. "You know I'm going to tell Daniel right?"

He groans in annoyance and stands up. He pulls his chair back over to the other side of the table. "Well...shall we eat?"


End file.
